Very low - again

Donor drops out

The past year has been pretty difficult. We gave the green light to our agency to find a new donor back in November, which they did pretty quickly. But for all the paperwork and health checks to be done by them and then the hospital took another four or so months, so we didn't get going until April. I started all the meds again, and she did the same on her side. Unfortunately the day she was due to start the injections she decided she couldn't go through with it and it all got called off. I could barely believe it. But my sympathies were with her as I didn't like the idea of doing the injections for myself, let alone someone doing them for a complete stranger. 

Egg share BFN

And so there we thought we would leave it. But only a week or two later the hospital rang to say they had a match for egg sharing and did we want to do that? We agreed and I started up the meds again! To cut to the chase, we got 12 eggs, of which 8 fertilised, of which five made it to day 3 and two to day 5. They transferred 2 c-grade (A-D) blastocysts on August 10th and we've been waiting. From the 14-18th I really felt like I was starting to feel some pregnancy symptoms. Stupid really, as I had have never noticed them in the past until I was about 6 weeks gone. I tested on the 19th, 20th, 21st and 22nd, but only got BFNs. So gutted. Stopped meds and now bleeding heavily. With the bleeding I have gone from feeling 'OK, what else did you expect, nothing ever goes right' to feeling very low indeed and very drained. Feeling terrified that I tested too early and gave up on the meds too early and that I was pregnant really. But in that case WHY the BFNs?? They should have shown up even a faint positive by that time. Burst into tears this morning. It's such a lovely day with the sun shining, but again it's another day where I wish I didn't have to be conscious.