So now the enemy has a name: an unbalanced chromosomal translocation. So what can be done? We have the following options: First up, `try again' and *hope* nature will be kinder this time and create a baby with either normal or balanced chromosomes. Because they know what the problem is, we can be given a CVS from 11wks, when they can check the chromosomes. However, and I'm sure you're ahead of me on this one, this means that if the test comes back and the chromosomes are unbalanced, we have the choice of letting nature take its course or bringing things to a premature end. Again. Right now, the thought of ending a pregnancy a third time is almost too much to bear. Because this thing can keep happening over and over, I could be faced with taking this decision countless times. Argh!!!
Already, I have to look in the mirror in the morning, and the person who looks back at me is a Woman Who Has Had Two Abortions. Who is she? I never thought in a million years I would say that about myself. I thought that as long as I was careful and in a stable relationship, then surely I would have minimised my chances of having an 'accident' and being faced with a choice I'd rather not make. But envisage what has actually happened to us over the past three years? Never, never, never.
It has to be said that trying again naturally is the hospital's preferred choice if we do want a family. I get the impression that as long as we get a diagnosis before 14 weeks, then I should be pleased because I can have an op and that's the end of it. Personally, the fact that it's an operation rather than labour & delivery gives me no comfort whatsoever. In fact I preferred to give birth to them both. At least we got to see them and to cuddle them. In fact I would go so far as to say I preferred having my last boy later, precisely because he had got to the stage where he had layed down some fat and looked a bit more like a baby. Our first baby was still very young gestationally and had quite delicate, transparent red skin. Anyway, I digress. Back to options. So to recap, we have `try again & test at 11wks'. On a glass half-full view, because it's chromosomal, we have a 50/50 chance of it not happening again, so yes, maybe nature will be kinder and give us an unaffected baby.
Secondly, we can try IVF with so-called pre-implantation genetic diagnosis (PGD). This is where they do standard IVF, but before they pop any embryos back inside you, they take a cell and test it for your particular genetic or chromosomal condition. Only embryos free of your particular genetic or chromosomal condition are put back, and hopefully the embryo will take and turn into a live, healthy baby. Cursory research indicates that while it can and does work, there are no guarantees. There are all the usual problems associated with IVF, and in some cases ALL of the embryos they manage to create are found to be affected, leaving none to transfer. Another factor is the cost. IVF with PGD in the UK costs around £10,000. Yes, 10k. And no, you don't get your money back if it doesn't work. Some people are able to get NHS funding for between one to three cycles, but not everyone is. And in these days of budget cuts, the NHS is slashing spending, right, left and centre, so I'm not positive we'd get funding for this one.
Thirdly, we can adopt.
We can also call it a day and give up, otherwise known as getting on with our lives. Finally. I do favour this one at the moment, I have to say. The past three years have been so exhausting and traumatic that to risk it continuing seems to be bordering on madness. If we go the natural route, I don't want to be faced with making a decision a third time. Just writing the sentence makes me want to vomit. It just seems like a really irresponsible thing to risk.
If we go the IVF route, I keep thinking of the worst-case scenario: don't want to reach 40, or whenever I hit the menopause, and to look on back on my life and realise that 1) we've done nothing but IVF for the past X years 2) we are now broke 3) we are barely talking to each other, 4) and to top it all we are still childless.
Oh well, I better hope that the worst-case scenario doesn't happen, as we've discussed it and we want to go down the IVF route. I'll keep you posted.
Thirdly, we can adopt.
We can also call it a day and give up, otherwise known as getting on with our lives. Finally. I do favour this one at the moment, I have to say. The past three years have been so exhausting and traumatic that to risk it continuing seems to be bordering on madness. If we go the natural route, I don't want to be faced with making a decision a third time. Just writing the sentence makes me want to vomit. It just seems like a really irresponsible thing to risk.
If we go the IVF route, I keep thinking of the worst-case scenario: don't want to reach 40, or whenever I hit the menopause, and to look on back on my life and realise that 1) we've done nothing but IVF for the past X years 2) we are now broke 3) we are barely talking to each other, 4) and to top it all we are still childless.
Oh well, I better hope that the worst-case scenario doesn't happen, as we've discussed it and we want to go down the IVF route. I'll keep you posted.
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