There's a repeated theme in many of the infertility and baby loss forums I read, and that's about the discomfort, if not outright fear, about meeting pregnant friends or their new babies. Or being invited to baby showers; seeing scan pics and baby pics on Facebook.
What can be done about it? Before entering the world of infertility/baby loss, people probably didn't have a problem with this at all. But tumbling into the desperate hole that is infertility, changes how you exprience everyone else's good fortune: if infertility is like breaking a leg, then each time you hear about other people's 'good news' is like getting your leg broken, again and again. It becomes ever-harder to heal as you go back to square one each time.
If you are in this boat, what can you do? If you are at the beginning of this journey, then you are normally still able to psyche yourself up, take a deep breath, and slap that happy face on, faking happiness & interest for the required amount of time. As your journey progresses, this may become harder to achieve. And then you've got to decide if you are going to decline meetings the direct way or the indirect way. The indirect way means 'things come up' at inconvenient times and 'you're terribly sorry, but you just can't make it'. The more direct, honest way, is to simply say that you are having a hard time dealing with your struggle to have a family, and that seeing babies or pregnant women is very upsetting for you, bordering on a phobia. You say that you hope one day she will understand, and that your reaction is sadly very common for people dealing with your situation.
At different points in the past five years I have tried all three approaches, but these days I find it easier to stick with people who don't have kids and are very unlikely (for various reasons) to have them. My life has changed drastically in the years we've been ttc, and my friendship base has totally changed. I guess it's to be expected when the lives of the people you're closest to go in a completely different direction, but it's still hard to live with.
After my losses, I could not stand to be in a room full of people I know. I cringed when someone I knew walled up to me. I hated the look of pity, the uncomfortable questions either asked or left obviously unasked. My Facebook is down to just my closest friends and, like you said, the childless.
ReplyDeleteWe must protect our hearts, defend the small peace we have ferretted out of the ruins of the lives we planned to have.
For a long time I kept expecting people to catch on to my pain...but the truth is that no one can understand unless they have been through it.
Here priestEka we are here to make your dream of pregnancy and other related human diseases over in your life have a happy home. Wespecialise in helping people with their problems such as.
ReplyDelete1 bringing back your lost .
2 spell to improve your businesses.
3 spell to bring back your ex-lover( bring back your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend)
4 spell for business protection from colleague.
5 spell to prevent witchcraft from your life and that of your family.
6 spell to prevent you from accident during your business journey.
7. spell to get employment easily
We also specialise in providing solutions in any of this spiritual gynaecology diseases affect human existence such as:
1 fibroid, asthma, ALL STD,
2 weakness of man organ
3 infections of all kind (yeast infection)
4 blockage from the fallopian tube
5 cyst. From the ovaries
6 unpleasant smell from the virgina
7 irregular menstration, menopause
8 infertility for easy Conception.
9.skin diseases, Toilet infection and bad body odor…….Etc..
10.Watering sperm (low sperm count) not able to get woman pregnant.
Simply contact the spiritualist PriestEka on (dreka14demons@gmail.com) to get his Herbal Medication to cure your disease and put yourself on a motherhood side of life..
(No more adoption, with PriestEka your problem will solve and you will have your child with ease.
Contact us at (dreka14demons@gmail.com) your solution home!