My next post was meant to be about the start of the post Christmas/New Year diet - I'm jumping on the 5:2 Fast Diet wagon. Having gained another birthday (37) and an extra stone, I thought I should at least attempt to lose the latter ahead of any fourth attempt at IVF/PGD or egg donation cycle. But then I was waiting for AF to turn up. It's never regular: 33-46 days is normal. But after our last PGD cycle in October, my first period was on December 12 (I remember it clearly since it was the evening of the office party), and then there had been nothing since, taking me up to 46 days, the outer edges for what is normal even for me. So I did a test, and as you can see, we have a BFP. Now I know the chances of this ending in tears is very high. This time, I have gone into it with my eyes open. If it goes wrong again, I will NOT be the mess I was the last time. On my own head be it. I will go to my local early pregnancy unit on Saturday morning and get dated. Then I will ask to get booked in for a CVS at the earliest opportunity, assuming I don't miscarry before then of course. The roller-coaster begins again...
This blog charts our story in trying to have a family. It describes the soul-destroying, mind-bending, insanity-producing experience of being told that your baby has serious abnormalities, and to decide that you believe it to be kinder, for the baby, not to continue with the pregnancy. And to be faced with this situation twice. This is not a blog which is pro-TFMR or anti-CTT (carrying to term). This is purely the story of what has happened to my husband and I and how we came to our decisions.