Last weekend, hubby and I went to a weekend workshop organised by the Donor Conception Network. It was really good and I definitely recommend it to anyone thinking about going the donor route. What I wanted to get out of the weekend is what donor children think about themselves as they grow up - are they angry with their parents for essentially depriving them of half their genetic parentage? Do they consider their mother to be their real mother? By the end of it I got a much better idea of what it might be like to go down the donor route and the essential point that children seem to deal with it much better if they are told from a young age, rather than being 'surprised' at a later stage.
There were three facilitators, who all had gone down the donor route for different reasons. It was good to speak to them about their experiences and good to speak to other couples who were in a similar situation to DH and I (the first time I have met anyone in the same boat, tbh). It was quite an emotionally 'heavy' weekend and by the end of the workshop I was exhausted, as the issues raised are very serious ones and ones that will have profound consequences. But all the people on the course were really nice, and we may even have made a few friends, and most importantly, what I learnt allayed a lot of my concerns about going for a donor.
This blog charts our story in trying to have a family. It describes the soul-destroying, mind-bending, insanity-producing experience of being told that your baby has serious abnormalities, and to decide that you believe it to be kinder, for the baby, not to continue with the pregnancy. And to be faced with this situation twice. This is not a blog which is pro-TFMR or anti-CTT (carrying to term). This is purely the story of what has happened to my husband and I and how we came to our decisions.
Saturday, 24 May 2014
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Hi there, was thinking about you and wanted to see how you were doing. Have you progressed any further with the doner conception? sending you my best wishes xx
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