Sunday, 16 September 2012
Livid
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. DH had told me a few days ago that his second brother and my sister in law would be having a christening for baby no2. Today BIL popped the invite through our door (i guess he didnt have the guts to knock and come in). I plucked up the courage to look at the invite. It was a big square picture of the new baby. Then I made the mistake of turning the invite. There, they'd listed the names of the godparents to be. SIL2 has been picked as the godmother!!! At this point I went nuclear with rage. I had been wondering this whole time whether their behaviour these past few years has just been thoughtless or have they been purposefully cruel. I had always wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt. But now I'm pretty sure what camp they are in.
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I have read your blog and am so sorry for all of your trials. I have gone through a similar journey, except I have never been pregnant. I've been through 3 IVF and 1 FET before my doctor had us tested and we found out that my husband has the chromosomal translocation. So we have the same choice - expensive IVF with PGD (where all of the embryos could be unbalanced) or moving on. I know it may not help comfort you, but you are not alone.
ReplyDeleteHi Jessica. I'm so sorry you've gone through all that before finding out about the BT. I read so many stories on fertility friends and other places where people have had so many expensive treatments before proper tests have been done to identify exactly what the problem is. And I realise there are stacks of issues that can affect fertility, but I think there's a low awareness of BT among geneticists, fetal medicine or fertility experts. Have out thought
ReplyDeleteSorry - pressed send before I was ready. Have you thought about applying for funding? Are you in the UK? It's not at all the case that they could all be unbalanced, it's really just luck of the draw. Don't give up yet!!
ReplyDeleteI forgot to mention the fibroid removal surgery I had, when we thought the problem was me. Put me out of work for a month. I am in the USA, and luckily in a state where most fertility treatments are mandated by law (it varies by state here). PGD needs special approval by the medical director, which I am trying to get. But my insurance has a lifetime max of $50,000, much of which is gone after 2 years of tests, medications, surgeries, etc. We will go forward with the IVF and PGD (if approved)in a couple months. So much of this process is waiting and waiting. If PGD costs are denied, we may do a round out of pocket. It is a bit like gambling, including the massive physical, emotional, and financial toll. With each cycle, I've had to stop going to the gym, miss work, and deal with the emotional trauma of another negative result. I am just dumbstruck when I use google to search and find so many others with similar problems.
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